&& I had tangles in my hair
but you made me feel so pretty.
Finished Fifty Shades of Grey.

Finished it earlier today before I had my 3-4 hour nap. Oh it was magical. Haha. After which I went to eat more food. :)) I was so disappointed with the ending. Maybe that’s why its a trilogy lol. Gonna go get the book when I’m back in Seattle.

That’s gonna be me up there in a couple of days. I’m always thankful to have been able to spend time here with family, especially cos I really get spoiled when I’m here, and I am eager to be back in the Philippines - see friends and family again.. But I’m not looking forward to that heavy (and no, I’m not talking about my weight) feeling I got last year when I finally had to be alone to wait for my gate to board, what it felt to get into that plane and travel across seas alone and what it felt saying goodbye again. I think maybe I’ve had my share of guys too many times already. I told my boyfriend the other night that I felt sad. Triggered by the confusion and mess about my flight ticket/arrangements back to the Philippines, I felt like I always have to miss out on the lives of people I love. Its never been easy for me or my family.. Though it does seem like we’re just breezing on by. To be with people I love, I have to leave behind people I love.. And a few years really is more than it seems. I know distance between family is inevitable, but I don’t think what I’ve experienced is normal. I’ve started thinking, right after my parents separated again when I was in third year high school, that I’ve done all the sacrificing. I have/had to sacrifice my life, relationships I had with people, my time and just about everything I could afford to leave behind. Of course, I’m luck to be an American citizen and I’m damn proud, but that little dream I used to have when I was little and was growing up without my mom, dad and brother about one day all of us being together here in Seattle or anywhere in the states slowly started to fade. It now seems impossible. Because not only is my family no longer just one family, but now I have to share it with others, and now nobody wants to or even has the plan on going here anymore. Yeah, maybe for visits.. But what’s that gonna do? Where am I gonna be? Where will they be? I don’t think I experienced being with my family enough to say I really experienced it. I was sent off to Seattle at the age of six cos my parents were separating, with the thought and promise that they would be working it out and trying hard to follow me there.. Then I visited in 2005 finally, leaving school, finishing school work by myself just so I could go, then deciding to stay there because I wanted us to be together. Again. Me. Now I go back and forth between them, being the medium. It really is frustrating, tiring and confusing. People ask me where I’m gonna work after college. I’m lucky enough to have the option of going to the states right away, but I honestly don’t know because either way, I’m getting one thing, and losing another.
After all this has gotten so emotional.. My main point about all this was.. I really don’t want to go. Only reason why I want to go back to the Philippines is for people. People who prolly won’t do the same for me. Or can’t. Or whatever reason there is, that I believe is not valid at all. If I could, I’d stay here. If it wasn’t for school actually. And honestly, if it wasn’t for Mick and my brother. I’m not excited about the heat, the stupid things Filipinos notice about other people and how they pick on people they haven’t seen in so long instead of ask you how you are or whatever. I’m not looking forward to school, and all the stressful nights that lie ahead of me. Only thing I’m looking forward to is that once I’m back there; its a day closer to my summer back here.
feellovealways:

Love this city #Seattle (Taken with instagram)
Finding love is like finding shoes. People go after the good looking ones, but they end up choosing the one they feel comfortable with.
At the end of the day, its not about how much you can bear but how much you can endure.
But love, I’ve come to understand is more than 3 words mumbled before bedtime. Its sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other everyday.
Awww :”) This boy. Little things do count ☺ @maddoxe @mickeyregala (Taken with instagram)
I Speak Because I Can...: If You Forget Me by Pablo Neruda→

allcanbebroken:

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light,…

Booger fell asleep lol. 💤 (Taken with instagram)
You look so peaceful! :)) And I was tryna make you stay up hehehe!
Found a spot with a breeze, haha sat on grass by ‘The Trees’ at Burgos Circle (?) ☺ @maddoxe (Taken with instagram)
I like flaws and feel more comfortable around people who have them. I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.
“Your eyes are the sweetest stars I’ve ever seen.”
Moulin Rouge
“When you love someone, there’s a pattern to the way you come together. You might not even realize it, but your bodies are choreographed: a touch on the hip, a stroke of the hair. A staccato kiss, break away, a longer one. It’s a routine, but not in the boring sense of the word. It’s just the way you’ve learned to fit.”
19 Minutes by Jodi Picoult (via Confuzzzled)
My favorite pancakes!!